How to Fix a Marriage When the Husband Goes to Online Dating Sites
I signed up for an online dating site a few days ago just to see what kind of single men my age were out there. I didn't even put up a picture, and. Dating sites over the internet has added a whole new dimension to personal relationships. While on one hand they have enlarged the dating pool and made it . 'I'd signed up to the site because my husband works away a lot and I people – especially women – do browse internet dating sites for the ego.
My husband could so easily have found out and that would have been the end of things. Karen got a terrible shock when a friend rang her to say he had spotted her profile picture on Tinder. I would never cheat on him. But it became a form of recreation.
How to Fix a Marriage When the Husband Goes to Online Dating Sites
But when one of my male friends — who as a single man was on Tinder legitimately — warned me he had seen my picture, I got the shock of my life. In the end I had to get him to do it for me. But it was huge wake-up call. I kept telling myself what could have happened.
The only problem is that it has made me realise how unhappy I am in my marriage. Louise Tyler, relationship counsellor with Personal Resilience Clinic in Cheshire, says that married people — especially women — do browse internet dating sites for the ego boost. I know from my bulging case files that many people rush to see a divorce lawyer at the first hint of infidelity. But any responsible solicitor should always advise couples to try to find a way to reconcile their differences, perhaps through counselling or just talking to one another.
Equally it is important to remember that what you see online and what happens in reality are two different things. People only post the best bits. The reality of Generation Swipe and the inexorable slide towards divorce is fathomlessly painful.
Zak, writing on Psychology Today, reports that the hormone oxytocin may promote monogamy and help sustain pair bonds in males and females. The brain releases oxytocin during sex, touch and most positive social interaction. Husbands who do not get sex from a wife or lack positive interactions with her may use dating websites to seek out a healthier relationship. Husbands with high testosterone levels may go on dating sites to satisfy immediate hormonal urges that suppress the effect of hormones that promote monogamy.
Inferiority Some unhappy husbands seek out opportunities for infidelity. Your husband may go on dating sites to seek out opportunities for escaping his life or feelings of financial inferiority. Heterosexual Sex with Men Dating sites can help heterosexual men seek out sex with straight men. Dating sites can offer anonymous and detached sexual opportunities to heterosexual men who want to explore homoerotic fantasies.
You may get defensive and angry. Try your best not to do that. That is not suggested or implied. Yet, no one should be too surprised by certain reactions individuals have to their environment.
And our counselors, who I personally train and hire to answer questions, are not allowed to tell anyone what to do, either. The following are reactions men who stray have to their marriage. Some are self-created, while others are due to poor marriage behaviors on the part of their wife. You can use these as a way of gaining insight into your own situation.
All of these are fixable. Boredom There can be many causes for boredom, but usually it is due to a breakdown in positive interactions.
The causes always are due to the couple not having enough practical marriage aptitude. Marriage is complicated, but looks simple.
So, their marriage, and relationship. When it becomes too burdensome anyone will seek escape. But it is better to heal the marriage, and not have to consider escape; because you love to be together. Love to be together If it has been a while, you can see you have a problem Anger This reaction is all too normal, and usually means the wife has to choose to save the marriage mostly, or all, on her own.
In cases of boredom or escape, both of the couple want to take the courses, because they both see the possibilities. But by the time anger causes the man to stray he is not amenable to being part of the problem.
Will the marriage make it? Will he stop cheating? But it takes longer for him to jump in and make effort, too. Usually he remains passive, waiting to see if his wife is sincere.
Exit strategy In this case the husband is on his way out. He gave up on his wife, and his marriage. He feels betrayed, abused, and hopeless. Usually it is because his wife has chosen to not listen to his complaints, or hopes. He already left the home, and his family. However, we have seen determined wives win their husband back.
My books will be useful.
The first is lighter to read, the other one is our textbook for certifying our counselors. But of course the courses are the best.
How looking at a dating app can ruin your marriage | Daily Mail Online
Some like to ease into the courses; reading a book, and utilizing our free help. What you should do right now, and in the future Become more marriage-friendly. In every way, shape, and form. Completely stop any and all criticism, complaining, and expectations. There is no benefit from expressing anger. There is always benefit from behaving in ways that express love; even if you do not feel it at the moment.
What would you tell your kids to do? In ways he wants you to be loving. He can never articulate the kind of true needs he has because of the preoccupation with sex we all have been taught. But it is not about becoming more sexual, anyway.
Be loving, and show it in ways that are not sexual though sex is usually important. Becoming too sexual all of a sudden, however, will easily backfire at this point; it will not help.
Pay attention to his needs for heart-based intimacy. Clearly if he were deeply satisfied, he would not be looking not always true, but usually online. Intimacy is not sex. But sex can be intimate. If you do not know what I mean by this, you really do need to at least read one of the books. An underlying truth about success To accomplish anything in life you need to control the mind.
This is a problem for many people, and one I take very seriously. You should take it seriously, too. I created the SEW technique to help people, and always advise its use. Not just for when you have troubles, but for your whole life.
No matter what you know, or learn, proper execution requires self-control. The SEW technique helps you leverage your will power to achieve your aims, The true lover loves without wanting anything from the one they love, not appreciation, or anything.
It can still come back. But not as long as you allow selfish and even hostile thoughts to reside in your mind. This is a huge test for you to win. You cannot fool life. You cannot pretend to love your husband just enough for him to love you back. You need to persevere with what you learn, and change yourself into the ideal lover.