Africans dating their own kind

Most Americans Marry Within Their Race – Population Reference Bureau

africans dating their own kind

Watch Dating Race at pm on SBS or live stream here. It's Tuesday night They have their own dignity, and sense of self worth. They might. I am sorry, but exclusively dating white women is not “just a preference. So, let's make it clear: No one is the passive victim of their own internalized biases. passive, kind or financially-stable is — you guessed it — racist! As an African American woman who is originally from MI I'm really hoping people. When Ann Dunham, a white woman, married a black African student, Barack acceptance of interracial dating and marriage within their own families. Most people appear willing to date outside their race, but they still state preferences.

africans dating their own kind

There is truth to it, I still believe it to be true," Mr Carrol said. The genuine care that she shows. We openly acknowledge that we couldn't live without each other - the first time she said it it made me feel 10 feet tall.

africans dating their own kind

They have their own dignity, and sense of self worth. They might take more than your average western woman, but you can't just walk over them. What does science say about who we find sexually desirable? Ian Stephensenior lecturer from Macquarie University, says the the English naturalist and geologist Charles Darwin can offer some observations.

So what it's doing is saying our minds have evolved to recognise aspects of other peoples biology that makes them an appropriate or good mate for us, whether that's recognising good genes or potential to be a good parent with high investment abilities. This area of theory is called optimal out-breeding hypothesis. Mr Von Hippel says that while there is no evolutionary or biological reason why some people favour a certain race, he says a positive attitude about a group of people and the opportunity to meet someone from a different background is an "enormous predictor of who we end up with".

There has been much speculation about why these gender preferences exist—reasons that delve into racial stereotypes and politics. Pool of Potential Spouses a Factor The likelihood of choosing a marriage partner of another race or ethnic group is also influenced by the available pool of people of the appropriate age and with a similar educational background, because most people marry someone close in age and educational level. This partly explains why U. Both white and black Americans have plenty of potential partners within their own groups.

Asians, on the other hand, make up only about 4 percent of the U. And they are the group most likely to marry out. Nearly 31 percent of Asians marrying in had a non-Asian spouse, about the same percentage as in This demographic change has other effects: Foreign-born Asians are less likely to marry out than U.

For the same reasons, intermarriage by Hispanics has declined since About one-quarter of Hispanic men and women married non-Hispanics in But the Pew report already documented a recent uptick in intermarriage among Hispanics and Asians, as immigration has slowed and the proportion of Hispanics and Asians who were born in the United States has grown.

Will the more tolerant attitudes people express toward intermarriage be matched by actual intermarriage rates? There are many reasons to expect continued increases in intermarriage in coming decades. Yes, like when I saw her and she wasn't, she was wearing like a beautiful dress, it was like vintage dress and I thought wow, she's beautiful.

Maybe I could see her in a movie or something and, but I thought oh well, but I'm Asian, probably she's not interested in Asian guy so I was just, okay, let's just say hi. I won't lose anything, it was just hi and then she was, she said hi back to me, very friendly, which I didn't expect at all. So you didn't expect to date a white woman? Because I was, I grew up in Korea and in Korea, not many Caucasian people in Korea, even though there are some English teachers, I can't meet them personally so I thought they are very hard people to be with, especially as Asian.

So I had a kind of fantasy that I want to date a Caucasian woman. Okay, so had you gone out with any white women before Sophie? I just only dated Korean woman before I met Sophie.

africans dating their own kind

Okay, but you found white women more attractive or just attractive? More attractive of course. It was like a fantasy to me and I thought I can't ever date white woman, I can't ever hold white women's hand or something like that.

So it was like fantasy, so I didn't expect at all. I know it was, it was around six months I think before you two could have a proper conversation? But you were going out during this time, yes? So it begs the question of what kept you going during the six months then?

Okay, We used to use electronic dictionary to tell just one word, you know. I was, I want to eat something, I couldn't say what I want to eat in English so I just found a word what I wanted in English, in English dictionary and I showed her, I want to eat this. Okay, I just wonder the extent, Sophie, to which the physical, the sexual attraction kept you going during that time when you didn't have any language, so I'm just interested in how big the physical attraction was for both of you?

Well, the thing is basically his language level was very limited, which obviously caused a lot of problems, but he still could convey humour and still could convey his personality which I think is quite unusual amongst people with quite limited English because of that warm humour, because of the good personality, I did find Han very handsome, very attractive person. Yuliana, what about you? You're originally from Indonesia, who do you prefer to date and why?

I prefer to date Caucasian men. At first I didn't expect to date Caucasian men as well, I always think oh, I'm going to go out with Asian men for the rest of my life. Why, why did you think that? Because I thought they look so different than me and I don't understand how their mindset works and then I started to work at this global bank and there's a lot of people from the UK and then at that time I just broke up with my ex-partner and then it's time for a change and I got a lot of attention from them.

Okay, so it shifted for you with exposure to people from other backgrounds? Okay, Jennifer Lundquist in Boston you've looked at racial preferences with dating. We know the majority of people find their partners within their own racial grouping, why do some people like these people choose to date outside their race do you think? Yeah, well it's an interesting question. Most people don't explicitly set out to date one race or another and they end up falling into it and what demographers find is that there are certain characteristics that interracial couples tend to have compared to same race couples.

Some of this is, for example, they tend to be more highly educated but a lot of it has to do with exposure. So what we find with interracial couples is they often live in urban environments, large cities where they're exposed to people of many other backgrounds. Okay, Ida you've been in Australia since you were for four, is that right? And you went to an all white school?

And you've never dated a white man? Okay, so proximity just hasn't come into it? I was going to say I'm going to shoot the exposure theory out because I've been exposed, I obviously had lived here all my life, I lived here when, you know, there was a minority, a real minority of Africans. There's more migration now but back in the '80's certainly not.

So what's your preference Ida? I tend to break it up into two, two things. I think finding other races attractive, that superficial initial sexual attraction or physical attraction, it doesn't matter to me. If I think you're handsome, you're handsome. And where does that lead you? Does that lead you into a particular direction? It leads me to a preference of dating, yeah, races that look like myself so brown skins. Okay, in a sense of a longer term relationship?

My preference is for Caucasian white Australian males and I'm from a migrant background so I immigrated quite young, and you're told very quickly you've got to, you know, you've got to work twice as hard, you've got be, you know, twice as good.

There's this "west is best" mentality, and even just the physical value of beauty, even though they don't - like my parents would never say, you know, being white is beautiful.

It would be things like get out of the sun, you're getting darker and you know, that sort of mentality that actually is more of a classist thing because for a lot of Asian people being dark skinned is actually associated with working labour class.

So that affects who you're attracted to?

africans dating their own kind

Yes, because in my youth I would have interpreted that as get out of the sun, you're getting darker, darker is ugly, look at all my white friends, they're not dark, they're white. When we talk about issues of dating, particularly in kind of a racialised context, it's in the broader context of race relations. Ian, you've done facial attraction research. What are the drivers for physical attraction between people and does race come into it at all? Attraction is a very complex thing, but from an evolutionary perspective, being attracted to someone is thought of essentially as a way of identifying an appropriate mate, someone who is healthy and someone who could potentially give you healthy children.

And where kind of the cross cultural sorts of inter-ethnic aspects of this might come in is that by having children with someone who is less related to you, you actually reduce the chances of your offspring having certain genetic diseases. Okay, Bill Von Hippel in Brisbane, you're an evolutionary psychologist, what do you think are the drivers for sexual attraction and where does race fit in? Well, there is no evolutionary basis for being attracted to somebody of a different race because in the kind of evolutionary timeframe where these preferences would have evolved, we never actually encountered anyone of a different race.

It's very much a privilege of the modern world that I can meet somebody who their group lived thousands of miles away from my own. In my lifetime, 10, 20, 30 thousand years ago I would only encounter people who looked quite a bit like me.

So in response to the earlier question you're asking Ian, and part of the reason why we haven't evolved to prefer other races, even though in fact he's absolutely right, we get a real benefit genetically out of having offspring with people of other races, is that we don't have a history of doing so.

As it stands now, we simply are attracted to people by virtue of whether we personally find them attractive, whether they have the features that we personally are looking for. Okay, is there any evidence that race in itself is a driver for people's attraction to other people?

No, in general, no, and in fact even people who claim they prefer X or don't prefer it, often find that when life throws them a curve ball, they meet somebody that they actually are very attracted to who is a member of a different race and they didn't want this for themselves but that's the way it goes. John Carroll, you used a dating website, Filipino Cupid, to find a wife. Why did you specifically want a Filipino wife? Pure and simply because I wanted someone that could speak English. There are a lot of people in the world who can speak English.

Because from my understanding, it wasn't going to - there wasn't too many Chinese that could speak English very well, there wasn't too many Vietnamese people, Thai people, but Filipino yeah. Okay, so you're looking for an Asian wife in a sense? So why that, that group, why Asian? Why were you looking only at Asian women and not more broadly at English speaking women?

Prior to meeting Edelisa I'd had like a decade plus long relationship with a lady from Malaysia, she'd been here a number of years, could speak English very well, and despite the fact it didn't work out I had a lot of good positive memories of the relationship itself so that basically set it in train for me. I said that's what I'm looking for, that's what I want and that's why I went down this road. Were there particular qualities that you associated with Asian women and with Filipino women apart from the language issue?

Yeah, well the stereotype, one of the stereotypes that is bandied around, well Asian women treat western men better than a white woman might and the belief is, is that yes, that's true, I believe that to be true. In what sort of ways? Very attentive, very attentive, yeah. But really made you feel, you know, you're, yeah, it made you feel good, complete, yeah. Yeah, that one relationship so I said well, yeah, I'd like to, go down that road and that's why I constantly chose, you know, to find someone who I could speak with in my own language, who was attractive.

Attractiveness is important to me, let who get that point clear, I think for a lot of men that is the first thing that they look at when trying to find somebody, is she attractive or is she not?

Made contact with her via Yahoo Messenger you proposed?

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And it was just a snap decision, I just picked up the phone off the counter and just went to the site, will you marry me, boom and that was it.

And you hadn't met her in person? No, no, only on webcam, like, you know? And Edelisa, how did you feel when that Yahoo message came through? I ask him, like are you serious about it? Because it's like that fast, you know, to ask me. We've been chatting for three months only and then he already asked me to get married. So you were surprised? Were you specifically looking for a western husband? Yes, I'm like, I'm attracted to Caucasian also.

And what are you attracted to about Caucasian men? I could see it in my two brothers-in-law and they are like responsible. They look after my sisters, I mean they are good husbands, better than a Filipino husband. Is there a Filipino man in the audience here somewhere please?

But I want to explore this a little bit more though, what do you mean they look after you better, in what way? I just found him like, they are responsible in the way that they are, like that's it, they look after, like also the kids, send them to a good school and they provide everything the kids want.

Interesting, Sophie, the idea that Edelisa has is that Caucasian men are better at providing those things and your view is that, you know, you like it in Asian men.

I guess that I wouldn't broadly say that all Asian people are the same, it's a big continent. What I found is quite true, is that in my opinion, in my case, Korean, my Korean husband there, Han, he's been a very responsible father, very responsible husband, really interested in providing for our family and very interested in having a lifelong marriage.

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I want to ask you two about the actual physical attraction between the two of you. I mean at this point where you were asked about getting married Edelisa, were you in love, had you fallen in love with this person on the other end of Skype or not?

Like we've been chatting three times a day on Skype, for three months, like there's already the spark.

Like, then when he asked me to marry him, so that's why I did not say no, because I already feel something that I like him and then I'm also like attracted to him. So how long was it before you actually met one another in person?

So three months after the proposal you actually met one another person? Yeah, and then we did it, we got married just like that.

Cross-cultural dating: Why are some people only attracted to one ethnicity? | SBS News

Edelisa, had you ever dated Filipino men? Yeah, yeah, I had a child from Filipino. And had you dated other races at all? Jennifer, to what extent do social reasons drive people's choices? If you look at interracial marriage rates and coupling rates you tend to find a big difference if you look at, for example, whites and Asian unions, you find a big gender difference.

So in both cases white women are less likely to be married to Asian men and white men are more likely to be married to Asian women, and there are a lot of different theories for why this. So for example, some westernised men may look for women from other cultures that are perhaps more family traditional and want to marry a woman who, subscribes to more conservative gender roles and that certainly seems to be the case with your one guest there and thinking about having a Filipino wife.

Whereas many westernised women, white women, may feel that marrying an Asian man or a Latino man, that they will have a more patriarchal approach and be less supportive of their more feminist type of culture.

Anyone relate to any of that?? I find like there's a huge difference in how Caucasian men treat women. So just for example, when I, my English ex cooked me dinner, he would cook me dinner like from the start to finish and even like help cleaning the dishes and even like pamper me and do everything for me. But my Indonesian ex would just expect me to cook dinner and then let me do the dishes and then he'll just like play games on the internet.

That's the idea of having like a romantic dinner. Okay, I think we've got to be very careful not to stereotype here. You know we're talking about people's individual experiences. Why do you have Race specific events? We program our events based on preference. So popularity, if enough people suggest a certain type of event, that's an event that we'll put on. If it's popular or successful and when I say successful we talk about a higher match rate, then it's an event we keep on running.

So what are the most popular events? One of our really popular events is Asian women speed dating. It has a very high match rate so we ran an event last night that had percent match rate, meaning that every person who came met at least one person that they matched with. Let's have a look. Ladies if you can please spread yourselves around the room at one of the tables and we'll get going.

Nothing against the blonde haired, blue eyed girls but Asian ladies definitely look after the partner, yeah, and very easy to get along with. I'm looking for a good man. It doesn't matter where he comes from MAN 3: I guess Asian women might be a little more open to try new things.

Just things out of the ordinary, I guess, like hobbies like car racing, and stuff like that. If I want to get married to someone, I don't want to only marry them for their good looks only.

If we have nothing in common, it's going to be like flat line. Asian girls like a guy that doesn't flirt with everybody but they just find the one they like and settle down rather than Caucasian, which tend to be a little bit more player-like. I guess that's - yeah, I think that's the stigma. Do you speak Italian?